When I named this blog just last month I had no idea how fast I would begin to create time and space. What I didn't realise at the time was the time and space I wanted to create was not so I could be by myself more, it was to create space for Spirit to enter my body and to spend my time 'as' this amazing connection.
My perception of Spirit in my body was just that- in my body. Last night I had an amazing experience during a yoga class where I felt my Essence as vast as the space I could imagine around me- no different then the Essence of other women in the room. I felt as though my body didn't need to be the border that protected me from my world . Instead I felt as though my body was permeable allowing Spirit to move through me rather then trying to 'capture it'(stagnation). It was so freeing to feel as though I was different from one moment to the next. Ah- maybe this was the movement I was seeking in my last blog!! I feel my body vibrating right now as this connection finds it's way into my awareness.
I had always perceived my Spirit/Essence to be 'my own' or who 'I truly am' but last night I began to feel that the Essence of who I am is no different then the Essence of who you are. I just have a different body and have had a different experience of Early Family Systems then you.
Imagine, allowing the truth of who we really are be the lens that Spirit shines through to guide our choices moment by moment. In turn creating the unique individuals we all are.
Right now in this moment-kids tucked in bed, quiet in my home and in my body I feel the borders of my body dissolve allowing the MOVEMENT I have been seeking.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Time to Move
I feel movement is necessary in my life right now. An internal movement to allow the old to surface and process, in turn creating space for the essence of 'who' I am. Such an easy concept with the information I now know. Such a daunting concept 6 months ago.
If who I were 6 months ago was powerful enough to bring me to the place I stand today, imagine where I will stand in another 6 months with the information, time and space I have created for myself.
Everyday allowing choice to be on main stage. Choice that comes from being mindful that the answers lie in the body's cues. The body's cues are prompted by the Essence, Authentic voice, God force, whatever word you use to name it.
Today I had what I call a 'hit', something that moved in my body that asked me to pay attention. I then took a few deep breaths, pulled my awareness deep into my body and asked myself the question- what do you need to do right now. The decision looked totally different from an intellectual standpoint. Knowing what I know now I trusted my body's cues and the day took on a totally different feel. I felt as though I was responsible for my actions and had I not made the choice I did I would have created drama and felt as though I was the victim.
I am beginning to follow through on my choices instead of analysing. Making choices and acting on choices are two very separate things. I think the answers I have been seeking have been in my awareness for a very long time but being consumed by what those choices may look like got in the way of just doing them and knowing all is good.
I now know all is good and I am ready to make choices and trust the answers my body holds in the present moment. I also know without movement the present moment choices stay the same and becomes the stagnation that leads to the disconnect of who we truly are.
If who I were 6 months ago was powerful enough to bring me to the place I stand today, imagine where I will stand in another 6 months with the information, time and space I have created for myself.
Everyday allowing choice to be on main stage. Choice that comes from being mindful that the answers lie in the body's cues. The body's cues are prompted by the Essence, Authentic voice, God force, whatever word you use to name it.
Today I had what I call a 'hit', something that moved in my body that asked me to pay attention. I then took a few deep breaths, pulled my awareness deep into my body and asked myself the question- what do you need to do right now. The decision looked totally different from an intellectual standpoint. Knowing what I know now I trusted my body's cues and the day took on a totally different feel. I felt as though I was responsible for my actions and had I not made the choice I did I would have created drama and felt as though I was the victim.
I am beginning to follow through on my choices instead of analysing. Making choices and acting on choices are two very separate things. I think the answers I have been seeking have been in my awareness for a very long time but being consumed by what those choices may look like got in the way of just doing them and knowing all is good.
I now know all is good and I am ready to make choices and trust the answers my body holds in the present moment. I also know without movement the present moment choices stay the same and becomes the stagnation that leads to the disconnect of who we truly are.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Choosing to look up and paint
For far too long my head has been down pushing through my life. What was I trying to push through? Where was I trying to go that I couldn't take the time to enjoy the scenery? I think I truly thought this was my dress rehersal for life!!!
How much of my life have I missed with my head down, making apologies, pleasing others, doing the 'right thing' and simply living in the past or the future.
What really matters now, is not how much life I have missed, it is that I am awake to the life I am leading now. When habituated patterns begin to set in I recognise them, I then choose to look up, and there I am back in my life creating what it is I want instead of allowing autopilot to choose a haphazard direction.
Are you on autopilot or are you consciously choosing the life you want for yourself?
It truly is a choice.
It is a choice that comes from deep within the vessel we call body, the vessel that holds the essence of who we are. When we are connected to our essence choices become easy and effortless because we have removed the drama of the mind.
Before I use to feel that I didn't know who I was unless I was busy or productive. Now I have realized I become agitated (body sending info in the form of emotion) if I am too busy in my mind and become disconnected from my body.
Now, instead of lashing out from that agitation,I quiet my mind, breathe, connect to my body, realize what info my body is sending and make choices for myself based on that info. This is still a process for me because habituated patterns still want to lead when I am in my mind and my mind is who I thought I was for a long time.
Get into the body,allow it to lead and the life you want will become a canvas waiting for your brush strokes!
How much of my life have I missed with my head down, making apologies, pleasing others, doing the 'right thing' and simply living in the past or the future.
What really matters now, is not how much life I have missed, it is that I am awake to the life I am leading now. When habituated patterns begin to set in I recognise them, I then choose to look up, and there I am back in my life creating what it is I want instead of allowing autopilot to choose a haphazard direction.
Are you on autopilot or are you consciously choosing the life you want for yourself?
It truly is a choice.
It is a choice that comes from deep within the vessel we call body, the vessel that holds the essence of who we are. When we are connected to our essence choices become easy and effortless because we have removed the drama of the mind.
Before I use to feel that I didn't know who I was unless I was busy or productive. Now I have realized I become agitated (body sending info in the form of emotion) if I am too busy in my mind and become disconnected from my body.
Now, instead of lashing out from that agitation,I quiet my mind, breathe, connect to my body, realize what info my body is sending and make choices for myself based on that info. This is still a process for me because habituated patterns still want to lead when I am in my mind and my mind is who I thought I was for a long time.
Get into the body,allow it to lead and the life you want will become a canvas waiting for your brush strokes!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Creating Internal Space
My body has been sending me info this morning. I feel as though I want space and for everybody to leave me alone in this space.
So right now I have created this space to write and what is coming up for me is that my external landscape of chaos this morning is reflecting the internal landscape of chaos and needing space.
We all have messages sent by the body or outer landscape (our world) needed to make the necessary changes in our lives. Look at what is going on outside yourself in your world and ask yourself the question what do I need to make room for inside to have my world look better to me on the outside. I am really beginning to see how much the outer world is a direct reflection of our inner world, and vice versa.
I asked the question this morning, created the space I needed and already I am feeling calmer and more at peace. Instead of stuffing those thoughts and feelings deeper into my body I decided to acknowledge how I was feeling and made the simple choice of taking some time for me, and in the long run today, it will work better for my whole family.
So right now I have created this space to write and what is coming up for me is that my external landscape of chaos this morning is reflecting the internal landscape of chaos and needing space.
We all have messages sent by the body or outer landscape (our world) needed to make the necessary changes in our lives. Look at what is going on outside yourself in your world and ask yourself the question what do I need to make room for inside to have my world look better to me on the outside. I am really beginning to see how much the outer world is a direct reflection of our inner world, and vice versa.
I asked the question this morning, created the space I needed and already I am feeling calmer and more at peace. Instead of stuffing those thoughts and feelings deeper into my body I decided to acknowledge how I was feeling and made the simple choice of taking some time for me, and in the long run today, it will work better for my whole family.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Conscious Choosing
I wake with joy in my body.
Today is the day I have created for myself. Every Wednesday my children, who have previously been with me 6 days a week, go to daycare and preschool.
This is my day! My day to listen to my body and make choices moment by moment.
Normally a day 'off' would be a day of errands, necessities and rushing.
Today I am going to try to be concious, moment by moment, hour by hour. I have made no commitments and have a list that I may or may not follow.
Right now I am sitting, writing, drinking a cup of tea and glancing over my view at the trees changing colors.
My husband has taken my daughter to daycare, my son is happily watching Curious George and I am taking advantage of the day for me already.
I still have my head cold but I don't feel as though I am a prisoner to it. I am embracing it's message and am thankful for it or I may have rushed around like a 'mad woman' pissed at the end of the day that there was no time left over for ME.
Consciously choosing. Realizing each moment, from one to the next is different, which in it's self is a reminder to check in with the body. Allowing these body clues to guide our intellect into making the decision that is right for us at that moment.
Today is the day I have created for myself. Every Wednesday my children, who have previously been with me 6 days a week, go to daycare and preschool.
This is my day! My day to listen to my body and make choices moment by moment.
Normally a day 'off' would be a day of errands, necessities and rushing.
Today I am going to try to be concious, moment by moment, hour by hour. I have made no commitments and have a list that I may or may not follow.
Right now I am sitting, writing, drinking a cup of tea and glancing over my view at the trees changing colors.
My husband has taken my daughter to daycare, my son is happily watching Curious George and I am taking advantage of the day for me already.
I still have my head cold but I don't feel as though I am a prisoner to it. I am embracing it's message and am thankful for it or I may have rushed around like a 'mad woman' pissed at the end of the day that there was no time left over for ME.
Consciously choosing. Realizing each moment, from one to the next is different, which in it's self is a reminder to check in with the body. Allowing these body clues to guide our intellect into making the decision that is right for us at that moment.
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