The Dance

The dance of my intellect and body has changed over the past year. My body has taken the lead. The dance of my life has gotten faster and more free flowing. There are still moments when I don't trust the next dance moves and I allow my intellect to take the lead again. What I notice now is as soon as this happens the dance slows and I am mindful of the steps instead of the flow.
Yesterday I had the experience of becoming MORE and with that came a HUGE insight. As the impulse moved through my body I noticed the sensations that came with it and it began to move old information in my body. The next thing I knew I had slowed the dance and was very aware of the steps. INTELLECT ALERT! Instead of staying with the sensations and relaxing into them I allowed my intellect to kick into high gear and considerably slowed down the entire process of transformation. I was exhausted and began to create questions at an environment,behavior,capability level. Where will I go? When will I do this? How will it happen? Why do I need to do this?
Today I am able to see clearer and move back into my body and allow myself to ponder who am I becoming and who else can I become as a result. The beauty of this question is there are no answers. I simply know by staying in my body and allowing these questions to rumble through me the old information that has been passed from generation to generation to 'me' can move and as long as I relax into it and know when my body processes it I will stand in a new place. A place of knowing and seeing the MORE that I have become. This is the cycle of my life when I allow my body to lead.
The genius for me in believing "creating is about the end result" has allowed me to think the end result represents safety and familiarity. It has also allowed me to move around situations so I could continue believing the illusion that things are safe when they stay the same.
Evolution is growth. To survive we must grow. I now need to look at my life and ask myself is the very illusion of holding on, the very thing that is creating the illusion of safety in my world. Am I growing in an Authentic direction or has the genius of safety created a very different path that I am choosing to move down?
I am realizing in this moment, all the things outside of me that I have chosen to define me are the things, that when the impulse moves in my body, are creating a deeper awareness within. It is an illusion that my building and business represent safety. My safety comes from within and to grow I must become more and as a result things are going to change! This is NOT how I was taught to live! But the more time I hang out in my body connected to the signal from self I realize growth and change are EVOLUTION for its own sake!
I have a deeper awareness for myself today that NOTHING, even what I have created, represents safety, stability or success. In this moment the only thing that represents success, stability or safety for me is- Am I breathing? Am I making an Authentic choice (one based on who I am becoming not one out of cultural habituation)? Am I staying with and relaxing into the sensations that move in my body? Or, am I bracing against what wants to move deep within me?
Stay tuned for what happens as I allow the latest insight to move info that has been allowing me to live small and make choices based on this perspective!
I Am becoming MORE as I write each word and allow what I didn't know I didn't know to flow through the tissue in my body transforming generations of beliefs! I know in this moment my children have a new choice available to them that they did not have 5 minutes ago. All becomes possible when we share with ourselves, the truth of our own experience. Possibilities become awakened in others as we share the truth of our own experience with others.
As you take a breath right now consider who you are capable of becoming if safety resides in your body in the the next breath and the next choice...not in anything we have been taught to believe it resides in.