Do you trust me? Do I trust you? Am I telling you the truth? Are you telling me the truth?
In an externally referenced world these were questions I frequently asked myself.It became very easy to make it about somebody else and create a 'story' based on my own belief system.
As I move towards an internally referenced world I begin to question inside myself. I now know this is the only place that holds the more important questions-do I trust myself? Am I telling myself the truth?
I know my world is my creation so as I look outside of myself to see what I am creating I am aware that I know things inside where I live. To honor this knowing I must first admit this truth to myself then open my mouth to put voice to it...no matter what. If I do not speak the truth of my experience I have to lock it back down and create another event to bring it back to the surface. It becomes a choice point again- Do I choose to tell myself the truth and honor this truth by making choices that reflect my inner knowing OR do I look away from my own truth to make somebody else feel comfortable and once again dishonor myself!
When I choose not to tell the truth to someone in my life I know it is a metaphor for my internal world. I know I am avoiding honoring the truth of my experience and locking down information that wants to be in flow so I may come to know myself better.
What is the genius for me? Where am I choosing to look away from more of my own truth because knowing it will force a choice point- do I honor or dishonor myself as I put voice to my own truth. Years of pleasing others and locking down the truth of my experience has built up incredible pressure- THIS INFORMATION WANTS TO MOVE!
Do I need to keep creating experiences outside myself that force this information to move or do I simply know what I know, tell myself the truth and open my mouth to declare this truth as mine. I know doing this will shake the remnants of an old foundation that is long overdue for collapse and integration. My body is a powerful processor and once this information is integrated I know more and as a result become MORE!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Being willing to see ALL of myself
Yesterday I experienced LOTS of agitation in my body. Today I am allowing myself to get curious.
What are the things I choose to embrace within myself and what are the things that I am choosing NOT to see? Why am I choosing NOT to see the magnificence of my imperfections? Is my vulnerability any different then my strength?
As I choose to show up in the moment living the truth of my experience I need to honor and embrace it all in order to be true to myself- to see who I Am becoming.
Do I ever really know who I am becoming? As I show up in the moment and allow my truth to move and integrate I Am different breath to breath.As I remember to trust that I Am the wave transforming I can relax into the moment without labeling the experience. It is all perfect. It is all exactly what it is meant to be.
As I sit here right now all I can know is what is going on inside my own body.Am I willing to embrace it ALL as Me? Am I willing to know in the moment I can choose to hide the truth or embrace it for myself- nobody else, just me. Can I allow myself to be profoundly touched by my own discoveries and marvel in who I Am becoming OR do I choose to look outside myself to see if my success is defined by touching someone else. In the moment that truth moves and I embrace it, I am MORE.
This space is where my own evolution can become seen by Me. All the things I have been choosing not to see are aspects of me that when I was externally referenced, I saw them as negative, based on others reactions.
In an internally referenced world all I have is the truth of my experience in the moment bumping up against aspects of myself I buried a long time ago. My agitation towards another is ALL about ME! Can I relax into this as I do when I have a moment of pure joy. When I do, I take a breath, allow it to move and experience the next truth.
What are the things I choose to embrace within myself and what are the things that I am choosing NOT to see? Why am I choosing NOT to see the magnificence of my imperfections? Is my vulnerability any different then my strength?
As I choose to show up in the moment living the truth of my experience I need to honor and embrace it all in order to be true to myself- to see who I Am becoming.
Do I ever really know who I am becoming? As I show up in the moment and allow my truth to move and integrate I Am different breath to breath.As I remember to trust that I Am the wave transforming I can relax into the moment without labeling the experience. It is all perfect. It is all exactly what it is meant to be.
As I sit here right now all I can know is what is going on inside my own body.Am I willing to embrace it ALL as Me? Am I willing to know in the moment I can choose to hide the truth or embrace it for myself- nobody else, just me. Can I allow myself to be profoundly touched by my own discoveries and marvel in who I Am becoming OR do I choose to look outside myself to see if my success is defined by touching someone else. In the moment that truth moves and I embrace it, I am MORE.
This space is where my own evolution can become seen by Me. All the things I have been choosing not to see are aspects of me that when I was externally referenced, I saw them as negative, based on others reactions.
In an internally referenced world all I have is the truth of my experience in the moment bumping up against aspects of myself I buried a long time ago. My agitation towards another is ALL about ME! Can I relax into this as I do when I have a moment of pure joy. When I do, I take a breath, allow it to move and experience the next truth.
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