Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Look at your Life or Live your Life

The blinders are off, my fists have unclenched and I have dropped the heavy armor. If you want to know me just be in my presence and you will know me.
I no longer apologize for the edges I spent years trying to dull to fit in. I take full responsibility for my thoughts and actions but still do not apologize for them if they offend you. I am here in this moment to live and engage in ways that are meaningful to only me. Am I a bitch... no! I have finally stepped into my life and found a strength I did not know existed.
The nurturing, the compassion, the kindness has always been there but without the strength I could not allow myself to live fully in this moment.
I cared about what you thought, I cared about what you felt and I cared about how my life looked like from the outside looking in.
Now I am on the inside looking out and I still care for you, I care for you so much I am going to allow you the freedom to live your life by your own design.
From the inside looking out it becomes a much different landscape and a much different experience. I am now looking at you and seeing you through mySelf. Instead of judging myself from the outside looking at a body without an essence and wondering 'what did you do to me that I feel like this', I can now take responsibility and ownership from an authentic place inside my body.
My external environment can now be a direct reflection of my internal environment instead of looking at the internal from a 'witness' standpoint. What fun is it to 'look' at your life instead of actually living it!!!
The long and short of it is I am here to live my life and allow you to live your life without the stories and drama that once felt so comforting.
I am here to live large in whatever form that may look like from moment to moment.

1 comment:

Louise LeBrun said...

I am so fortunate. I know well that my life is the cup that runeth over....

Thanks for being on this journey with me!

Aloha and a hug,
Louise