The Force

As I sat in my home today and looked out at the fresh blanket of snow I felt peaceful and calm. There is something magical about living here with 20 acres of space surrounding me.
The peacefulness and calmness I began to realise in that moment was superficial, not bad, but superficial. Somewhere in the depths of my Being I felt a restlessness arising mixing with the calmness, the sensation began feeling more like a force. The only way I can describe this force is a deep, swirling dancing motion that feels all consuming and calming in the same breath.
My intellect wanted to grab hold to suffocate this force by asking questions like: 'why can't you appreciate all the things you have worked for and just live simply? Don't complicate things- you have everything you could ever want. You just can't be satisfied..no matter what!'
Not needing to know where those voices from the past originated I took a breath and settled into the force within my body just long enough before I heard 'mom what's for dinner'. I wanted to stay there for a second longer and then it occurred to me I could remain here because it was ME not just a sensation. Big Breath here- imagine ME just being ME! No need to hold onto a sensation just owning it and claiming it as the force that I am.
I can live simply, whatever moves me in this moment is SIMPLE. It may not be the Websters dictionary definition or the nominalization of simple but it will be my simple for that moment. The moment I look at something that would appear daunting to my intellect I can know it is simple for me in that moment by the way my body responds! The genius is I am simple in an unconventional way- MY way!!! Oh my it really is My way- letting this settle in for a moment.
Not your way, not my family's way... mine all mine. I guess I will have to rethink my response when my kids say 'mine, all mine'.
There's that Force again!!