Welcoming Intensity

Things have been brewing all week. I have stayed very much in the moment and not until today have I allowed myself to ponder what has been brewing.

In a conversation with Amy this morning and in reading Louise's Emerging Future's Blog things are surfacing. What is surfacing is my Intensity.

The difference between my perception of welcomed intensity and unwelcome intensity.

More and more often these days I am experiencing periods of intensity that feel like heaviness and denseness within my body. I have a new perception of what it means to be 'full of yourself'. Full of the very life force that exists in and around everything. Swirling, flowing, moving, waiting for the moment that I connect to the device that transmits it- my body! Today the intensity has increased. I have a feeling of seeing things around me differently. The words aren't free flowing yet which indicates I am still processing. I will come back to this later when the words are coming. No need to come back later here they come:

Density,buoyancy, intensity, lightness, stillness, movement, fullness, emptiness, vibration, aware of my crown chakra, slow rhythmic breathing, focused energy in my hands and feet. Aware of my body but aware more is existing outside of my body, a sense of connection, a vast connection beyond my own thoughts and feelings. A feeling of non-emotion but yet aware something is changing, altering the state I felt was my truth a few minutes ago. It almost feels like light headedness, everything is bright in my field of vision. Bottom of my feet are heavy, hot. I hear my children in the background as they play with their play dough, I wonder how long I will feel this and if they came to me in this moment would I move into the mother role or can I interact in this state? No fear just awareness of what is moving through my body in this moment. I am not the same, how do I know this? I just do. The amount of intensity that my body can hold and move just increased in this moment. I am SO AWAKE right now, awake to this moment and nothing else. I am going to go breathe... knowing there is always more.