I read every word of 3 powerful emails that Koreen, Amy and Marie wrote as they honestly claimed the truth of their experience. As I read, I felt info move throughout my whole body- I felt inspired. I feel So grateful in this moment for all of you and especially for mySelf as I keep showing up in my own life one moment at a time, reveling in ALL of it.
So much is coming into my awareness right now. As I read your words Koreen what popped for me was the conversation I want to have with women about how we are unable to show up in our own lives when we make our lives about showing up for another person. More specifically for me, when I showed up 'for' my kids/work they become the very distraction from what moved deep within ME!
We keep perpetuating this cycle and wonder why we have so much guilt as mothers/business owners when we finally want to do something for ourselves. It shakes our foundation to the core when we have spent a lifetime making our life about somebody/something else.
This is what is flowing for me right now because this week I was able to see how much my business has defined my self worth for SO long! When I wasn't living my life for my kids, I was living it to fix others and have them perceive me as great, successful, competent etc.
Well this week I finally SHOWED UP! I held info sessions for all my clients who chose to take part and moved through the experience of being completely Decloaked in front of those who have seen me as someone else for the past 12 years! On Tues I had a lot of info moving through me even as I sat in front of my first small group of women. I allowed myself to be open, clear, honest and direct with all of them and realized I was finally ready to SHOW UP completely in my own life!
My life has been a whirlwind ever since! I have been creating SO many more people on my holodeck who are willing to show up in their own life because I have become willing to show up for mine. I am no longer willing to live my life for anybody else and after allowing myself to move through it and claim it, I know there is NOTHING I can't move through because it is ALL allowing me to discover more of my potential.
Someone asked me the other day if I felt responsible for what happens to people after their Experiences with me. I was again able to see MY EXPERIENCE IS ALL ABOUT ME AND THEIR EXPERIENCE IS ALL ABOUT THEM! It is SOOO FREEING for both of us because in that second that we both show up we realize we are the creators of our own reality- nobody else!! The truth of my experience has become the portal for others to begin to get curious about what potential lies within their truth- expressed to themselves!
In one week my schedule will no longer be about accommodating anybody else. It will be mine to claim and to allow what is right for me moment to moment. I will be able to determine- do I want to do Massage today, do I want to create/facilitate a program, do I want to be at home, do I want to go for tea with friends, do I want to write, teach a yoga class or take a yoga class? I have never ALLOWED my self worth to be completely created from inside me- until NOW!
The beauty of my experience is I now get to be the invitation for something to awaken in another as I claim this experience for myself! The only difference now is that my self worth comes from inside and if I exhale I allow it to radiate out for other lives to be touched! The experience I now have in my body is- it is more painful to remain a bud then to blossom into a beautiful flower.
I am looking to create many VERY different conversations with myself and looking to expand on them with others willing to discover more about the truth of their own experience. No work, just excitement in the discovery!!!
Life becomes static when controlled by dogma, rules, boundaries and expectations of others...Life becomes MORE when we discover the more that we are moment to moment .
The time for me is NOW... When I was finally able to acknowledge that I was the only one in my own life to decide when and how I reclaimed my life, EVERYTHING changed and continues to!
Ask yourself what and who are you waiting for to live fully and vibrantly everyday? If this creates agitation,fear, excitement etc within your body take a deep breath and relax into the sensation because you have just taken the first step on your journey to your Authentic self.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Embracing the Genius
Ahhhh....I feel as though I am in the stillpoint of my life today. It is a rainy morning and I am cuddled up with my tea and a blanket. I am pausing this week. I am engaging myself and creating the space to allow my body and intellect to catch up to the acceleration in who I have become.
I just
I got together with an AMAZING group of women and spent a FABULOUS weekend engaged in conversation, laughter and tears. I haven't seen most of the women in over a year and yet I was able to share who I Am in this moment with each of them. It really felt as though space and time collapsed and the Essence that each one of us carries was able to shine through in the moment without the stories from the past filling the space. It was a beautiful experience.
I have a lot of information in my awareness today. If I were to remove every person from my world and sit in the sensations that were triggered in my body over the weekend I have a feeling I will know myself better by the end of this blog.
If nobody exists within me and if I am not the fixer of others and their lives, who do I need to be 'strong' for and why do I feel as though I don't have the strength to go through experiences? What does strength mean to me? Do I need strength to protect the illusion that I am safe in my world?
If I Am the one in my world and I get to show up every moment of my life, I need nothing more then to know then I am safe to inhale my potential of discovering the more that I Am, make a choice honoring the discovery, exhaling and letting the past experiences move to create space for the new evolution. In this process the step towards my Authentic journey has begun. Each breath becomes the step. Nothing to be strong for, nothing to protect. Surrendering my intellect to my body, relaxing into the sensations without putting labels on them. They are what they are. I will be less likely to honor myself if I put labels (guilt, hurt, pain, anxiety etc) on what information needs to move in my body in order to create the new thoughts that come with insights when info (emotions and sensations) moves in my body.
If I create my world then I am the only one in my world. If I am the only one in my world I need nothing other then what lives inside of me in this moment. I will not create this moment to be anything other then what 'I' need to move THROUGH (not around) to get closer to the core of who I Am. I am realizing I knew all this at the different layers that have already peeled away but I am experiencing myself VERY differently the last few days so I know have a new understanding of what I already knew.
As I am able to see myself differently I am seeing others in my life differently.
I read something this morning that allowed me to see why honoring myself in the moment is SO important to me now...
"When I forsake my genius and speak to you as though I were another, I also speak to you as someone you are not and somewhere you are not. I address you as audience, and do not expect you to respond as the genius you are." - Finite and Infinite Games
I am genius and you are genius. If we can stay present to that in conversation we will both discover the more that we are in each others presence. I have lived both the genius and 'not that' and my life has accelerated exponentially since embracing myself as genius!I look forward to discovering the more that I Am now in each breath.
I just
I got together with an AMAZING group of women and spent a FABULOUS weekend engaged in conversation, laughter and tears. I haven't seen most of the women in over a year and yet I was able to share who I Am in this moment with each of them. It really felt as though space and time collapsed and the Essence that each one of us carries was able to shine through in the moment without the stories from the past filling the space. It was a beautiful experience.
I have a lot of information in my awareness today. If I were to remove every person from my world and sit in the sensations that were triggered in my body over the weekend I have a feeling I will know myself better by the end of this blog.
If nobody exists within me and if I am not the fixer of others and their lives, who do I need to be 'strong' for and why do I feel as though I don't have the strength to go through experiences? What does strength mean to me? Do I need strength to protect the illusion that I am safe in my world?
If I Am the one in my world and I get to show up every moment of my life, I need nothing more then to know then I am safe to inhale my potential of discovering the more that I Am, make a choice honoring the discovery, exhaling and letting the past experiences move to create space for the new evolution. In this process the step towards my Authentic journey has begun. Each breath becomes the step. Nothing to be strong for, nothing to protect. Surrendering my intellect to my body, relaxing into the sensations without putting labels on them. They are what they are. I will be less likely to honor myself if I put labels (guilt, hurt, pain, anxiety etc) on what information needs to move in my body in order to create the new thoughts that come with insights when info (emotions and sensations) moves in my body.
If I create my world then I am the only one in my world. If I am the only one in my world I need nothing other then what lives inside of me in this moment. I will not create this moment to be anything other then what 'I' need to move THROUGH (not around) to get closer to the core of who I Am. I am realizing I knew all this at the different layers that have already peeled away but I am experiencing myself VERY differently the last few days so I know have a new understanding of what I already knew.
As I am able to see myself differently I am seeing others in my life differently.
I read something this morning that allowed me to see why honoring myself in the moment is SO important to me now...
"When I forsake my genius and speak to you as though I were another, I also speak to you as someone you are not and somewhere you are not. I address you as audience, and do not expect you to respond as the genius you are." - Finite and Infinite Games
I am genius and you are genius. If we can stay present to that in conversation we will both discover the more that we are in each others presence. I have lived both the genius and 'not that' and my life has accelerated exponentially since embracing myself as genius!I look forward to discovering the more that I Am now in each breath.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Questioning Deep Inside Myself
I am drawn to this space tonight to engage in a conversation with myself.
A few weeks ago I wrote about an encounter with a friend that allowed me to bump up against myself. The deeper insight I have now is one of my old beliefs bumping up against new beliefs. Each time I stand my ground and allow myself to be authentic I feel a deep shaking from within my body (especially in the chest area). Each time I allow myself to breathe through the sensations I realize just how deeply hardwired the need to please is in my body. I know this is not who I am, nor who I choose to be in my world. I also know until these old experiences are processed in my body I will continue to invite situations in my external world that become a trigger to allow for movement.
In six weeks I will have no external obligations, no agenda except the one I create moment by moment. This will be my life. I will not work another day in my life. My life will be MY work in progress.
One year after beginning my WEL-Systems journey I am able to allow my title of my blog to collapse. Space and time only exist if I say so. Moment to moment, breath to breath is where life is happening, where I actually show up in my life.
I spent years living in the past, worrying about the future and wondering what other people thought of me. Now I get to choose my life and all I have to wonder is whether I honoured myself in the process.
What exactly is it I want to say? Why am I here in this space tonight? Why is it I led a life of putting everybody else first? Why did I apologize to everyone except myself? Why has it taken me so long to embrace the sensations inside my body that are mine? Why didn't I get any of this before? Why me? Why not me? Why perfect and not imperfect? Why see anything outside me as anything else but me? Why be here right now? Why pretend to myself? Why try to reach out when we are all dying because we are not reaching in? Why laugh when I want to cry? Why try to be the best outside when we already are our best inside? Why love when we can respect? Why be anything less when we know ourselves to be more? Why grieve a death and not celebrate a life? Why not experience every moment so we get to experience more of our lives? Why be quiet when we want to speak? Why sit when we can dance? Why hold our breath when we can fully inhale our potential and exhale more of ourselves to the world? Why speak when we can sing? Why walk when we can fly? Why speak when silence speaks to our soul? Why have the answers when the questions expand our potential? Why look at the outside when we are inside? Why have a conversation when a gaze is all that is needed? Why look away when we can embrace ourselves in the moment of discomfort? Why choose death when we can live?
Why not say FUCK IT here is my moment to no longer allow my past to be what defines me, stand strong in the discomfort and keep moving forward regardless of what others think! Here is my moment. Here is my truth. Here I Am.
A few weeks ago I wrote about an encounter with a friend that allowed me to bump up against myself. The deeper insight I have now is one of my old beliefs bumping up against new beliefs. Each time I stand my ground and allow myself to be authentic I feel a deep shaking from within my body (especially in the chest area). Each time I allow myself to breathe through the sensations I realize just how deeply hardwired the need to please is in my body. I know this is not who I am, nor who I choose to be in my world. I also know until these old experiences are processed in my body I will continue to invite situations in my external world that become a trigger to allow for movement.
In six weeks I will have no external obligations, no agenda except the one I create moment by moment. This will be my life. I will not work another day in my life. My life will be MY work in progress.
One year after beginning my WEL-Systems journey I am able to allow my title of my blog to collapse. Space and time only exist if I say so. Moment to moment, breath to breath is where life is happening, where I actually show up in my life.
I spent years living in the past, worrying about the future and wondering what other people thought of me. Now I get to choose my life and all I have to wonder is whether I honoured myself in the process.
What exactly is it I want to say? Why am I here in this space tonight? Why is it I led a life of putting everybody else first? Why did I apologize to everyone except myself? Why has it taken me so long to embrace the sensations inside my body that are mine? Why didn't I get any of this before? Why me? Why not me? Why perfect and not imperfect? Why see anything outside me as anything else but me? Why be here right now? Why pretend to myself? Why try to reach out when we are all dying because we are not reaching in? Why laugh when I want to cry? Why try to be the best outside when we already are our best inside? Why love when we can respect? Why be anything less when we know ourselves to be more? Why grieve a death and not celebrate a life? Why not experience every moment so we get to experience more of our lives? Why be quiet when we want to speak? Why sit when we can dance? Why hold our breath when we can fully inhale our potential and exhale more of ourselves to the world? Why speak when we can sing? Why walk when we can fly? Why speak when silence speaks to our soul? Why have the answers when the questions expand our potential? Why look at the outside when we are inside? Why have a conversation when a gaze is all that is needed? Why look away when we can embrace ourselves in the moment of discomfort? Why choose death when we can live?
Why not say FUCK IT here is my moment to no longer allow my past to be what defines me, stand strong in the discomfort and keep moving forward regardless of what others think! Here is my moment. Here is my truth. Here I Am.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Honoring MySelf and knowing I AM ENOUGH
In this moment I am aware how much IS and how much WANTS to be in flow in my life!
I had an experience this morning that created a lot of chaos in my body. I found myself bumping up against another person who I hold to be a friend in my life.
I allowed myself to ask the question- what am I bumping up against in my own life? Since it is never about the other person I allowed the wave to move inside MY body. If I had stayed in the intellect and analyzed it I would have continued to make it an experience outside of me. The wave of old information my body held would have become locked down because I wouldn't have been able to OWN it as my own.
When I reflected on and allowed myself to consider what the mornings experience was for ME I realized there was another culturally conditioned aspect of myself that was ready to move. The wave of information that moved brought the insight-I am no longer willing to create experiences to have others see that I AM ENOUGH in order to give myself permission to see it in myself. I Am IT! There will be many times in my life that I bump up against myself in the presence of another but I need to know it is simply an invitation for me to become MORE.
I had lived most of my life wanting to fit in and wanting to be loved. I have created many experiences in which people could see me as lovable, friendly and nurturing. I am still all of these things but I no longer need to be SEEN as these things. Hence the experience I created this morning. The beauty in all of it was in shaking my foundation I came to see that over the past year I have allowed my old (culturally conditioned) foundation to become replaced with more of an Authentic one- much more solid and stable. Does it mean I don't still have experiences that shake me to my core?-No, but when they do I know I will be able to stabilize and continue to move forward instead of stopping and feeling like a deer caught in the headlights, paralysed with fear. I am no longer willing to compromise myself for someones comfort and when I do this I know I am no longer teaching this to my children.
When I choose someones comfort I am not willing to engage the very thing in my body that I consider uncomfortable to stand in. Today I was willing to step into and relax into the discomfort in my own body. I didn't die doing it. I didn't fall into a depression.I don't love myself any less. In fact, I love myself more and I feel as though another piece of my world has been revealed- knowing I can go into the dark corners of my soul and turn the light on to see I am the only one there who is going to choose to change MY world. I AM ENOUGH
I Am enough in MY world and I trust others who want to see this in their lives will engage this in themselves because what was this morning dark and uncomfortable for me, is now a new way for me to consider my world! As I broaden my perspective I create more space to see it differently.
I had an experience this morning that created a lot of chaos in my body. I found myself bumping up against another person who I hold to be a friend in my life.
I allowed myself to ask the question- what am I bumping up against in my own life? Since it is never about the other person I allowed the wave to move inside MY body. If I had stayed in the intellect and analyzed it I would have continued to make it an experience outside of me. The wave of old information my body held would have become locked down because I wouldn't have been able to OWN it as my own.
When I reflected on and allowed myself to consider what the mornings experience was for ME I realized there was another culturally conditioned aspect of myself that was ready to move. The wave of information that moved brought the insight-I am no longer willing to create experiences to have others see that I AM ENOUGH in order to give myself permission to see it in myself. I Am IT! There will be many times in my life that I bump up against myself in the presence of another but I need to know it is simply an invitation for me to become MORE.
I had lived most of my life wanting to fit in and wanting to be loved. I have created many experiences in which people could see me as lovable, friendly and nurturing. I am still all of these things but I no longer need to be SEEN as these things. Hence the experience I created this morning. The beauty in all of it was in shaking my foundation I came to see that over the past year I have allowed my old (culturally conditioned) foundation to become replaced with more of an Authentic one- much more solid and stable. Does it mean I don't still have experiences that shake me to my core?-No, but when they do I know I will be able to stabilize and continue to move forward instead of stopping and feeling like a deer caught in the headlights, paralysed with fear. I am no longer willing to compromise myself for someones comfort and when I do this I know I am no longer teaching this to my children.
When I choose someones comfort I am not willing to engage the very thing in my body that I consider uncomfortable to stand in. Today I was willing to step into and relax into the discomfort in my own body. I didn't die doing it. I didn't fall into a depression.I don't love myself any less. In fact, I love myself more and I feel as though another piece of my world has been revealed- knowing I can go into the dark corners of my soul and turn the light on to see I am the only one there who is going to choose to change MY world. I AM ENOUGH
I Am enough in MY world and I trust others who want to see this in their lives will engage this in themselves because what was this morning dark and uncomfortable for me, is now a new way for me to consider my world! As I broaden my perspective I create more space to see it differently.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Claiming Magnificance in my imperfections
The topic of redefining the word Powerful Women came up over the weekend and I must say it has not left my awareness.
Tonight my son was watching Spiderman and he asked me why he could not spin webs like his favorite hero.
My thoughts immediately went to the word superpower. I told my son that although he could not spin webs in this moment of his life he already had a superpower. He was intrigued and asked me what superpower he had. I told him 'his' power was inside his body and by allowing himself to see what he sees, hear what he hears and know what he knows his power would be in using his voice to tell what he feels on the inside to the outside world. By allowing what is inside of him, the truth of his experience, to make its way into the world unfiltered means he has superpowers! He immediately asked me if everyone had these superpowers. My response was everybody has the superpower but some choose not to use it, some do not know it is inside of them and some have been told from a very young age their superpower is not welcomed...but everybody has it. He seemed pleased with himself as he ran off continuing to try and shoot webs out of his wrists!
We all have a superpower. I tried to hide mine for many years and even the other day as I recorded a CD with Louise called "Intimacy, Birth and Rebirth" (more to come later about this) I felt the shakiness in my body as I allowed the truth of my experience to come out of my mouth unfiltered and uncensored. I was aware of the discomfort in my body and I stayed with it. A few minutes later I realized the sensation had turned to excitement and all I had to do was stay with the feeling of discomfort so my body could process it and reveal something else! Normally I would disconnect from my body to 'get through' something but I now know I also disconnect from my Authenticity when what comes out of my mouth does not match what is inside of me and what ends up coming out of my mouth in my state of disconnect is simply the culturally conditioned me.
Another key 'green dot moment' (light bulb moment) that flooded my awareness after completing the CD recording is just how non-linear I am. My Authentic thoughts follow no sequence and have no definite start or end point to them. It makes perfect sense that I stayed disconnected from who I really was under cultural conditioning for so many years because to have the life I thought I should have meant being very organized, keeping a sequence and always staying on track. These were the very things that allowed me to stay small and in the box for so many years!
It is all just now making sense...I have been attempting to write blogs for months since Manifesting (the program I connected strongly to who I Am in the world) but I would get 'off track' and end up not finishing them and eventually discarded them because they were all over the place in their content! Tonight I am very aware as I write this that I am allowing myself to go all over the place and it feels AMAZING! I have no idea if any of this makes sense but since the whole point of my blog is to have a conversation with myself to discover more about my Authentic self, I am prepared to put this out to further Decloak and as an invitation for others to think of their lives differently then they may have a few minutes ago.
What are the things we really think are 'us' that are simply strategies we have gotten really comfortable living? Could these be the very things that keep us disconnected from the Essence of who we are in the world?
The freedom I feel right now is MAGICAL!! Another layer has peeled away and I am left feeling more integrated then ever!
I feel a little anxious about pressing the publish button because my grammar is not correct, I have bounced all over the place and essentially it is not linear but I know this is another layer of cultural conditioning about to peel away as I claim more of the 'real, non-linear me'. My head is held high as I let go of something I have clung to for so many years and realize I now get to claim another Authentic aspect of my being.
We really are Magnificent in our imperfections! Now that I know this in myself I can accept this and welcome it in you!
With Respect, Integrity and Generosity of Spirit.
Naomi
Tonight my son was watching Spiderman and he asked me why he could not spin webs like his favorite hero.
My thoughts immediately went to the word superpower. I told my son that although he could not spin webs in this moment of his life he already had a superpower. He was intrigued and asked me what superpower he had. I told him 'his' power was inside his body and by allowing himself to see what he sees, hear what he hears and know what he knows his power would be in using his voice to tell what he feels on the inside to the outside world. By allowing what is inside of him, the truth of his experience, to make its way into the world unfiltered means he has superpowers! He immediately asked me if everyone had these superpowers. My response was everybody has the superpower but some choose not to use it, some do not know it is inside of them and some have been told from a very young age their superpower is not welcomed...but everybody has it. He seemed pleased with himself as he ran off continuing to try and shoot webs out of his wrists!
We all have a superpower. I tried to hide mine for many years and even the other day as I recorded a CD with Louise called "Intimacy, Birth and Rebirth" (more to come later about this) I felt the shakiness in my body as I allowed the truth of my experience to come out of my mouth unfiltered and uncensored. I was aware of the discomfort in my body and I stayed with it. A few minutes later I realized the sensation had turned to excitement and all I had to do was stay with the feeling of discomfort so my body could process it and reveal something else! Normally I would disconnect from my body to 'get through' something but I now know I also disconnect from my Authenticity when what comes out of my mouth does not match what is inside of me and what ends up coming out of my mouth in my state of disconnect is simply the culturally conditioned me.
Another key 'green dot moment' (light bulb moment) that flooded my awareness after completing the CD recording is just how non-linear I am. My Authentic thoughts follow no sequence and have no definite start or end point to them. It makes perfect sense that I stayed disconnected from who I really was under cultural conditioning for so many years because to have the life I thought I should have meant being very organized, keeping a sequence and always staying on track. These were the very things that allowed me to stay small and in the box for so many years!
It is all just now making sense...I have been attempting to write blogs for months since Manifesting (the program I connected strongly to who I Am in the world) but I would get 'off track' and end up not finishing them and eventually discarded them because they were all over the place in their content! Tonight I am very aware as I write this that I am allowing myself to go all over the place and it feels AMAZING! I have no idea if any of this makes sense but since the whole point of my blog is to have a conversation with myself to discover more about my Authentic self, I am prepared to put this out to further Decloak and as an invitation for others to think of their lives differently then they may have a few minutes ago.
What are the things we really think are 'us' that are simply strategies we have gotten really comfortable living? Could these be the very things that keep us disconnected from the Essence of who we are in the world?
The freedom I feel right now is MAGICAL!! Another layer has peeled away and I am left feeling more integrated then ever!
I feel a little anxious about pressing the publish button because my grammar is not correct, I have bounced all over the place and essentially it is not linear but I know this is another layer of cultural conditioning about to peel away as I claim more of the 'real, non-linear me'. My head is held high as I let go of something I have clung to for so many years and realize I now get to claim another Authentic aspect of my being.
We really are Magnificent in our imperfections! Now that I know this in myself I can accept this and welcome it in you!
With Respect, Integrity and Generosity of Spirit.
Naomi
Sunday, April 26, 2009
The Journey lies Within
Beyond the stillness of my home tonight, I know, women are desperately searching as I had been searching months ago.
My search was for something I knew for some time to be missing in my life- Connection to Self.
I am happy, no, overjoyed to declare the search has finally ended. I know as I sit here tonight, within my body, the journey to find what I thought had been missing has been here all along and the journey to get here has simply been one of letting go and engaging the force that flows through my body-my unique signal in the world.
I am ready to Emerge and speak only to the Godforce that we ALL are. I am ready to engage the signal that I know each of us carries. I am ready to risk offending others to stay true to myself. I am ready to see the expression you are in me, allowing this to reveal more to me about mySelf. I Am ready to do this and be unapologetic because I know the power within the journey and I Am ready to go into the dark places because I have been there and I Am not afraid anymore!
Along this journey I have stopped and started. I have experienced such incredible fear it allowed me to go back into my intellect and react from default. I have had periods of forgetting who I Am. I have resisted change. I have questioned my worthiness, value and strength. I have experienced confusion and chaos. I have been willing to allow others with the spark in there eye to stay asleep for the fear of stirring up in them what I didn't think I could face stirring up in me. I have tried to hold on to others when it was clear they were not willing to do what it takes to reclaim their life.
In the face of all this I sit here tonight alive and knowing the pure and utter genius in it ALL. These moments have all been part of my journey back home- to Self! Each unfolding moment as I relaxed into it was allowing a stronger connection to Self and an opportunity to be more alive and awake to my own life then EVER before.
Tonight as I sit here I am aware that I am no longer able to fear the unknown. The map I hold in front of me is blank and it is waiting for me to take my first, second, third step etc. in order for it to be one of true discovery- not from my past but the absolute unknown of the future, moment by moment, breath by breath. Discovering new territory within mySelf- allowing self evolution to continue.
I know with the blank map I will still stumble on familiar ground from long ago but as I keep moving it will not need to be re-experienced, simply let go of. As I keep moving through the known I will find areas never discovered within mySelf and I will experience mySelf differently. This may change my direction but nonetheless it will be in these moments that I will be propelled forward leaping over the mountain and instead of climbing it with rigor and discipline, I will leap over it with ease and acceleration.
It is my map and my journey so I know the steps I choose to take are of my choosing. The force within my body cues the steps and allows the intellect to choose left, right or straight ahead. It is only when I listen to voices outside mySelf that I get lead off course. Becoming true to mySelf is what I now experience as the Authentic journey that allows more of the the expanding presence of Godforce to be present and available to me every moment!
It truly is a joy to be Alive and Engaging as and with the Godforce and knowing this has the power to change the WORLD!
Standing alone, together, will be the collective force to design a world of our choosing...Are you willing to do what it takes to stand alone and connect to the most powerful force in the world?- YOU! Allow yourself to ponder this and allow this sensation to lead you to the big questions in your own life! It continues to do so for me!!
My search was for something I knew for some time to be missing in my life- Connection to Self.
I am happy, no, overjoyed to declare the search has finally ended. I know as I sit here tonight, within my body, the journey to find what I thought had been missing has been here all along and the journey to get here has simply been one of letting go and engaging the force that flows through my body-my unique signal in the world.
I am ready to Emerge and speak only to the Godforce that we ALL are. I am ready to engage the signal that I know each of us carries. I am ready to risk offending others to stay true to myself. I am ready to see the expression you are in me, allowing this to reveal more to me about mySelf. I Am ready to do this and be unapologetic because I know the power within the journey and I Am ready to go into the dark places because I have been there and I Am not afraid anymore!
Along this journey I have stopped and started. I have experienced such incredible fear it allowed me to go back into my intellect and react from default. I have had periods of forgetting who I Am. I have resisted change. I have questioned my worthiness, value and strength. I have experienced confusion and chaos. I have been willing to allow others with the spark in there eye to stay asleep for the fear of stirring up in them what I didn't think I could face stirring up in me. I have tried to hold on to others when it was clear they were not willing to do what it takes to reclaim their life.
In the face of all this I sit here tonight alive and knowing the pure and utter genius in it ALL. These moments have all been part of my journey back home- to Self! Each unfolding moment as I relaxed into it was allowing a stronger connection to Self and an opportunity to be more alive and awake to my own life then EVER before.
Tonight as I sit here I am aware that I am no longer able to fear the unknown. The map I hold in front of me is blank and it is waiting for me to take my first, second, third step etc. in order for it to be one of true discovery- not from my past but the absolute unknown of the future, moment by moment, breath by breath. Discovering new territory within mySelf- allowing self evolution to continue.
I know with the blank map I will still stumble on familiar ground from long ago but as I keep moving it will not need to be re-experienced, simply let go of. As I keep moving through the known I will find areas never discovered within mySelf and I will experience mySelf differently. This may change my direction but nonetheless it will be in these moments that I will be propelled forward leaping over the mountain and instead of climbing it with rigor and discipline, I will leap over it with ease and acceleration.
It is my map and my journey so I know the steps I choose to take are of my choosing. The force within my body cues the steps and allows the intellect to choose left, right or straight ahead. It is only when I listen to voices outside mySelf that I get lead off course. Becoming true to mySelf is what I now experience as the Authentic journey that allows more of the the expanding presence of Godforce to be present and available to me every moment!
It truly is a joy to be Alive and Engaging as and with the Godforce and knowing this has the power to change the WORLD!
Standing alone, together, will be the collective force to design a world of our choosing...Are you willing to do what it takes to stand alone and connect to the most powerful force in the world?- YOU! Allow yourself to ponder this and allow this sensation to lead you to the big questions in your own life! It continues to do so for me!!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Life is magical when we Allow OurSelves to be Found
4 days after Manifesting and the words are just beginning to connect to my signal that is in full flow through my body.
No more searching, no more seeking, just allowing myself to be found.
The pieces of the puzzle that I have been gathering in front of me over the past 8 months became a beautiful collage of my life on day 5 of Manifesting.
Once I marvelled in the beauty of my life and saw how one piece fit meticulously together with the other I was finally able to 'see' my life and the magnificence of my imperfections.
I was then able to let go- I let go of the life I 'have' lived so the image of the collage could become blank again and I could begin to choose and create based on this moment rather then the past.
Every day allowing mySelf to wake and bask in the sunshine of my own life as the unique signal that I am in the world and asking mySelf what it is that I choose to do today.
No longer do I walk backwards into the future using the past as a familiar guide.
I have chosen to turn around and look up to the expression that I Am in this Universe and allow this moment to be the platform for the next!
The image that pops for me is one of me being a little girl looking up to the sky and asking mySelf- "what do I want to do?" No external referencing, early family systems had not yet had it's firm grip around my life...nothing to do but BE!
The circle completed itself last Saturday and I am once again looking up to the sky and asking mySelf "what do I choose today?"
Everyday allowing myself to be found by an expression more magical then it was in the last breath.
My life, my choices, my song to sing for myself or out loud for the world to hear.
Thank you Louise for creating the playground for us to safely explore and be found by a force I truly didn't know could exist on this plane.
Thank you Lisa, your presence and words have such a deep resonance and connect at a level that vibrates my entire being.
Thank you Lucy, your essence is still present within me even across the miles.
Thank you Cathy, your vibrancy for life allowed me to connect with the part of you that is an aspect of myself.
My body is soft, my breath is free and I am simply able to 'be' me for the first time since I was a child.
I look forward to waking tomorrow and allowing myself to feel the pulsating life force flowing through my body knowing and trusting my life is one of my design- not by planning but by allowing the flow to move the wave in my body in which I breathe and relax into, make a choice and take a step. If I allow this process to repeat 100 times in a day I have moved 100 steps closer to 'home'.
No more searching, no more seeking, just allowing myself to be found.
The pieces of the puzzle that I have been gathering in front of me over the past 8 months became a beautiful collage of my life on day 5 of Manifesting.
Once I marvelled in the beauty of my life and saw how one piece fit meticulously together with the other I was finally able to 'see' my life and the magnificence of my imperfections.
I was then able to let go- I let go of the life I 'have' lived so the image of the collage could become blank again and I could begin to choose and create based on this moment rather then the past.
Every day allowing mySelf to wake and bask in the sunshine of my own life as the unique signal that I am in the world and asking mySelf what it is that I choose to do today.
No longer do I walk backwards into the future using the past as a familiar guide.
I have chosen to turn around and look up to the expression that I Am in this Universe and allow this moment to be the platform for the next!
The image that pops for me is one of me being a little girl looking up to the sky and asking mySelf- "what do I want to do?" No external referencing, early family systems had not yet had it's firm grip around my life...nothing to do but BE!
The circle completed itself last Saturday and I am once again looking up to the sky and asking mySelf "what do I choose today?"
Everyday allowing myself to be found by an expression more magical then it was in the last breath.
My life, my choices, my song to sing for myself or out loud for the world to hear.
Thank you Louise for creating the playground for us to safely explore and be found by a force I truly didn't know could exist on this plane.
Thank you Lisa, your presence and words have such a deep resonance and connect at a level that vibrates my entire being.
Thank you Lucy, your essence is still present within me even across the miles.
Thank you Cathy, your vibrancy for life allowed me to connect with the part of you that is an aspect of myself.
My body is soft, my breath is free and I am simply able to 'be' me for the first time since I was a child.
I look forward to waking tomorrow and allowing myself to feel the pulsating life force flowing through my body knowing and trusting my life is one of my design- not by planning but by allowing the flow to move the wave in my body in which I breathe and relax into, make a choice and take a step. If I allow this process to repeat 100 times in a day I have moved 100 steps closer to 'home'.
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