Whooo hooo here comes my life...
I am experiencing sensations of restlessness and agitation surging through my body. My body is tired and I am feeling like going back into my hole! And the beauty is I know now it is all genius!
Sunday, as most of you know was Amy's Wel-Awakened Women's Potluck. I shared with her last night that I was able to see the day unfold from a different place and was able to watch her shine. I witnessed the Bold Vibration for Accelerated Change and the gentle/intense way she vibrated this into the room (and beyond).
Amy spoke (my perception of course) of the people on her holodeck moving quickly and becoming visible because she is moving quickly and is becoming visible. I heard this and understood it at an intellectual level but did not understand the magnitude of it until my body responded.
Monday I woke and felt as though I was pulled out of bed. I arrived at work and realised I did not have time to 'work'. I was booked for the morning and ALL my clients forgot their appointments (has never happened and yet I know I manifested this!)
I spent the morning rambling through emails, responding to the ones that called to me. I visited Facebook wrote on the WEL-Systems World and decided to update my profile status to- 'Naomi is upping the ante on living Authentically'.
I have spent many years keeping myself small and invisible. Flying under the radar was my trademark. If I began to rise I would create something to enable me to go back under the radar.
So when I updated my status I knew this was NOT flying under the radar but I did it anyway, in fact, I thought to myself 'bring it on'. And bring it on I did- I had responses from 5 people wanting to know what I was doing and what I meant. I put myself out there and the momentum has been accelerating ever since. I have been busy responding to emails and having conversations about what it means for me to live Authentically.
I am holding my first Women of Intensity Gathering at my office February 22nd, I have another workshop booked for March and this is only the beginning. I have no expectation of an outcome. My life is becoming more about being 'in the hunt' then the hunt itself! By allowing mySelf to emerge in everyday life I will be visible when it calls to be visible and when it calls to fly under the radar this is what I will do. No more will the fear of living large dictate my actions. I am now aware that living small was a strategy in my life and not who I AM!
This is definitely creating chaos in my body, hence the tired, agitated, restless state...but with chaos comes needed change! Bring it on!
PS I just spoke with Amy and she is accelerating at warp speed. She will be on the National tonight!...and here comes my life again!
Stay tuned...
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Powerfully Awake
I am truly in awe at the intensity and speed with which my life is unfolding on a daily basis.
I had a sense today that I have always' known' but somewhere along the way the path got dark, I became fearful and I didn't trust that life was what I said it was to be.
I began to walk slowly and carefully looking to external markers for my guidance and cues that I was heading in the 'right' direction.
The light got dimmer and dimmer and sometimes I would stop fearful that I was lost. I would call out and I would hear voices other then my own. But no matter how much I listened and followed I never felt as though I was going in the right direction. The box began to get smaller and smaller so I eventually stopped and began to live the same habituated pattern feeling powerless and waiting for someone else to save me from myself!
Seated at the table with 12 other magnificent women in the Wel-System program room this weekend I realised that in 6 short months I have found my way home. The voices I hear are mine and mine alone. The light emanating from the Essence of who I am is lighting the way. The fear is gone, enabling me to live in this moment and create the life I choose.
I also know the light is growing stronger as I look at the other women choosing to know they are 'The One'. Together we are standing strong in the sense of urgency that comes from needing and wanting to engage with one an other. Each one of us a unique form of expression in a physical universe.
I marvel to think of the light as a group we are now emanating to the world. Lighting the way for people to awaken and choose themselves as 'The One' for their own lives. No more victims, just powerful awakened women creating a life that is truly meaningful!
I sit here this evening, no struggle, no drama, just a sensation of space that fills my body, space for mySelf in this moment, because this is what I choose for ME! Who knows what the next moment will bring but again I get to choose. When was the last time you stopped, took a breath and decided what is right for you in the moment and go from there? A life by your own design has no limitations.
My deep appreciation and heartfelt Rig to all those sitting with me in presence and Spirit this past weekend. I know once again my life has profoundly changed. Looking forward to many more conversations to come!
I had a sense today that I have always' known' but somewhere along the way the path got dark, I became fearful and I didn't trust that life was what I said it was to be.
I began to walk slowly and carefully looking to external markers for my guidance and cues that I was heading in the 'right' direction.
The light got dimmer and dimmer and sometimes I would stop fearful that I was lost. I would call out and I would hear voices other then my own. But no matter how much I listened and followed I never felt as though I was going in the right direction. The box began to get smaller and smaller so I eventually stopped and began to live the same habituated pattern feeling powerless and waiting for someone else to save me from myself!
Seated at the table with 12 other magnificent women in the Wel-System program room this weekend I realised that in 6 short months I have found my way home. The voices I hear are mine and mine alone. The light emanating from the Essence of who I am is lighting the way. The fear is gone, enabling me to live in this moment and create the life I choose.
I also know the light is growing stronger as I look at the other women choosing to know they are 'The One'. Together we are standing strong in the sense of urgency that comes from needing and wanting to engage with one an other. Each one of us a unique form of expression in a physical universe.
I marvel to think of the light as a group we are now emanating to the world. Lighting the way for people to awaken and choose themselves as 'The One' for their own lives. No more victims, just powerful awakened women creating a life that is truly meaningful!
I sit here this evening, no struggle, no drama, just a sensation of space that fills my body, space for mySelf in this moment, because this is what I choose for ME! Who knows what the next moment will bring but again I get to choose. When was the last time you stopped, took a breath and decided what is right for you in the moment and go from there? A life by your own design has no limitations.
My deep appreciation and heartfelt Rig to all those sitting with me in presence and Spirit this past weekend. I know once again my life has profoundly changed. Looking forward to many more conversations to come!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
No Title
I sit here not sure what is going to come on this screen and okay with the thought of that!
I have began so many blogs in the past week but everytime I came back to them I realised they did not represent who I AM anymore. But now I see all those beginnings have created the space for who I AM now in this moment.
I stand in yet another very different place in my life then I even did yesterday. The wave I moved through last night in front of a client has opened a space so wide in my body it can't possibly exist in my physical body. I am just sitting here no thoughts are 'swimming' around as they usually are when I write. I have moved into a place of not needing... not needing to be told I am doing a good job, not needing to be right, not needing to have the presence of another to make me alright, just not needing because I KNOW I am alright.
I feel anchored in my body. I have never experienced this heavy but light feeling before. I have recently experienced the full but empty feeling. Now I am full but empty and heavy but light. I am full of who I AM but empty of the 'story', I am heavy, grounded into this moment but light knowing that I am always More if I embrace the lightness of movement.
This is all I have to say in this moment. For I have already changed.
I have began so many blogs in the past week but everytime I came back to them I realised they did not represent who I AM anymore. But now I see all those beginnings have created the space for who I AM now in this moment.
I stand in yet another very different place in my life then I even did yesterday. The wave I moved through last night in front of a client has opened a space so wide in my body it can't possibly exist in my physical body. I am just sitting here no thoughts are 'swimming' around as they usually are when I write. I have moved into a place of not needing... not needing to be told I am doing a good job, not needing to be right, not needing to have the presence of another to make me alright, just not needing because I KNOW I am alright.
I feel anchored in my body. I have never experienced this heavy but light feeling before. I have recently experienced the full but empty feeling. Now I am full but empty and heavy but light. I am full of who I AM but empty of the 'story', I am heavy, grounded into this moment but light knowing that I am always More if I embrace the lightness of movement.
This is all I have to say in this moment. For I have already changed.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
This is the Time of my Life
The last line of my last blog has left me curious. I went back and re-read Test Driving and realized the 'explanation' for me has been an obstacle. No more explanation of me or what I do or what I am reading. If you want to know about it read the book yourself. What am I trying to defend? what does my cultural conditioning say about being right and doing things the right way? Why does my way need to be the right way? Whoo a lot to pay attention to.
I am so passionate about how I feel and the courses I take I have been trying to spurt out information when I know it's not about the information but rather the experience of the conversation. One person's insight that leads to another persons discovery about themselves.
In my profession of Massage I always felt responsible to "fix" someones problem. Let this go Naomi. Be who you are and let go of the notion of "fixing" because it will get you more of what you have got and right now this is not what you want.
I don't want to be responsible for "fixing" problems. I enjoyed this for a long time and it gave me what I thought was a great sense of purpose. My purpose does not lie here anymore.
My interest lies here in between these words. The vibration of the space between these words.
I carry within me a Spirit that will not give up on the world and a Spirit that knows I can be the messenger of information I now know. For the experience that will arise, not for self-serving purposes because I know who I Am- do you want to know who You are and what journey you are on?
I am allowing mySelf to be the instrument for something larger- much larger!!! I don't know what it means right now but I know it is the right direction! No second guessing.
I am so passionate about how I feel and the courses I take I have been trying to spurt out information when I know it's not about the information but rather the experience of the conversation. One person's insight that leads to another persons discovery about themselves.
In my profession of Massage I always felt responsible to "fix" someones problem. Let this go Naomi. Be who you are and let go of the notion of "fixing" because it will get you more of what you have got and right now this is not what you want.
I don't want to be responsible for "fixing" problems. I enjoyed this for a long time and it gave me what I thought was a great sense of purpose. My purpose does not lie here anymore.
My interest lies here in between these words. The vibration of the space between these words.
I carry within me a Spirit that will not give up on the world and a Spirit that knows I can be the messenger of information I now know. For the experience that will arise, not for self-serving purposes because I know who I Am- do you want to know who You are and what journey you are on?
I am allowing mySelf to be the instrument for something larger- much larger!!! I don't know what it means right now but I know it is the right direction! No second guessing.
Test Driving
What you notice about me is actually about you...allow yourSelf to get curious about this. I will also get curious about what it is I notice about you and how I see this in my own life.
For me to notice something about you I know I carry this in mySelf to be able to recognize it.
This has been a Christmas to test-drive all the things I have been learning and what I am seeing is the fact that I created a lot of drama in years past that doesn't actually exist or if it does I simply chose not to engage in it this year...hmmm. (Which one it is truly doesn't matter)
How do I push your buttons? where do your irritations lie in what I say... allow yourSelf to get curious again. I will notice where my irritation lies with what you say and take a deep breath to allow my body to process information that up until this point was out of my conscience.
No more stories, no more past. Just this moment, choosing where this moment will lead. I don't know where it will take me but I do know it will lead me in the right direction if I honour the truth of my experiences and the Essence of who I am.
Am I ready to own my seriousness? Am I ready to be the invitation for change? Am I ready to come out of my camouflage to trust my body and it's impulses that connect me to who I am? More importantly am I willing to just be me whatever that may look like in this moment?
My intellect and hard wiring would have me go back to the wallflower I was pleasing and making nice. But my body sings a much different tune.
I am ready to be ME! In fact I already AM. No explanation required.
For me to notice something about you I know I carry this in mySelf to be able to recognize it.
This has been a Christmas to test-drive all the things I have been learning and what I am seeing is the fact that I created a lot of drama in years past that doesn't actually exist or if it does I simply chose not to engage in it this year...hmmm. (Which one it is truly doesn't matter)
How do I push your buttons? where do your irritations lie in what I say... allow yourSelf to get curious again. I will notice where my irritation lies with what you say and take a deep breath to allow my body to process information that up until this point was out of my conscience.
No more stories, no more past. Just this moment, choosing where this moment will lead. I don't know where it will take me but I do know it will lead me in the right direction if I honour the truth of my experiences and the Essence of who I am.
Am I ready to own my seriousness? Am I ready to be the invitation for change? Am I ready to come out of my camouflage to trust my body and it's impulses that connect me to who I am? More importantly am I willing to just be me whatever that may look like in this moment?
My intellect and hard wiring would have me go back to the wallflower I was pleasing and making nice. But my body sings a much different tune.
I am ready to be ME! In fact I already AM. No explanation required.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Look at your Life or Live your Life
The blinders are off, my fists have unclenched and I have dropped the heavy armor. If you want to know me just be in my presence and you will know me.
I no longer apologize for the edges I spent years trying to dull to fit in. I take full responsibility for my thoughts and actions but still do not apologize for them if they offend you. I am here in this moment to live and engage in ways that are meaningful to only me. Am I a bitch... no! I have finally stepped into my life and found a strength I did not know existed.
The nurturing, the compassion, the kindness has always been there but without the strength I could not allow myself to live fully in this moment.
I cared about what you thought, I cared about what you felt and I cared about how my life looked like from the outside looking in.
Now I am on the inside looking out and I still care for you, I care for you so much I am going to allow you the freedom to live your life by your own design.
From the inside looking out it becomes a much different landscape and a much different experience. I am now looking at you and seeing you through mySelf. Instead of judging myself from the outside looking at a body without an essence and wondering 'what did you do to me that I feel like this', I can now take responsibility and ownership from an authentic place inside my body.
My external environment can now be a direct reflection of my internal environment instead of looking at the internal from a 'witness' standpoint. What fun is it to 'look' at your life instead of actually living it!!!
The long and short of it is I am here to live my life and allow you to live your life without the stories and drama that once felt so comforting.
I am here to live large in whatever form that may look like from moment to moment.
I no longer apologize for the edges I spent years trying to dull to fit in. I take full responsibility for my thoughts and actions but still do not apologize for them if they offend you. I am here in this moment to live and engage in ways that are meaningful to only me. Am I a bitch... no! I have finally stepped into my life and found a strength I did not know existed.
The nurturing, the compassion, the kindness has always been there but without the strength I could not allow myself to live fully in this moment.
I cared about what you thought, I cared about what you felt and I cared about how my life looked like from the outside looking in.
Now I am on the inside looking out and I still care for you, I care for you so much I am going to allow you the freedom to live your life by your own design.
From the inside looking out it becomes a much different landscape and a much different experience. I am now looking at you and seeing you through mySelf. Instead of judging myself from the outside looking at a body without an essence and wondering 'what did you do to me that I feel like this', I can now take responsibility and ownership from an authentic place inside my body.
My external environment can now be a direct reflection of my internal environment instead of looking at the internal from a 'witness' standpoint. What fun is it to 'look' at your life instead of actually living it!!!
The long and short of it is I am here to live my life and allow you to live your life without the stories and drama that once felt so comforting.
I am here to live large in whatever form that may look like from moment to moment.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Our Bodies are Genius
Day 2 in Engaging and Awakening Others I discovered a benign cyst that had been on my back for some time had become inflamed. By day 5 it became so painful I could not lean back on my chair. Knowing the body is genius I left it to see what would happen. I thought it would get better on it's own and disappear.
To my disappointment it grew larger and angrier. I could not lean back at all and if someone approached me to give me a hug I would protect my back and if I forgot I would be in pain for some time after.
People told me to make a poultice, have it operated on and other things they thought would help me. I held out knowing it had something to tell me. It wasn't until a week ago that I noticed I was leaning back on the right side and felt no pain when I turned my body so that no pressure would go on the left. My woo hoo moment had arrived.
I realised I no longer needed my past to support me. I had been sitting without leaning back (past) for almost 3 weeks allowing mySelf to get acquainted to the 'new' Me . I also became curious that when I leaned to the right (sphere/masculine) side I had no pain. The nurturing (left side) aspect of the Family Hero strategy I ran in the 'past' no longer supported who I Am now.
As for protecting mySelf when people came towards me I simply used my voice to let people know it was there. I did not have to protect mySelf!
I sit here now comfortably leaning back on both sides with a new awareness about mySelf and how I CHOOSE to move through my world. The inflammation and pain is gone and began disappearing shortly after my realisation. The body is true GENIUS!
To my disappointment it grew larger and angrier. I could not lean back at all and if someone approached me to give me a hug I would protect my back and if I forgot I would be in pain for some time after.
People told me to make a poultice, have it operated on and other things they thought would help me. I held out knowing it had something to tell me. It wasn't until a week ago that I noticed I was leaning back on the right side and felt no pain when I turned my body so that no pressure would go on the left. My woo hoo moment had arrived.
I realised I no longer needed my past to support me. I had been sitting without leaning back (past) for almost 3 weeks allowing mySelf to get acquainted to the 'new' Me . I also became curious that when I leaned to the right (sphere/masculine) side I had no pain. The nurturing (left side) aspect of the Family Hero strategy I ran in the 'past' no longer supported who I Am now.
As for protecting mySelf when people came towards me I simply used my voice to let people know it was there. I did not have to protect mySelf!
I sit here now comfortably leaning back on both sides with a new awareness about mySelf and how I CHOOSE to move through my world. The inflammation and pain is gone and began disappearing shortly after my realisation. The body is true GENIUS!
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